guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
