It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
