yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
