Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
