im having a threesome with these popsicles
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
