you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
