PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
