when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
