Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
