haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
