Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
