a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I should be sponsored by Trojan
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
