She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize