Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
