you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
