Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
