She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
