the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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