I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There's always time for handjobs
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
