I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
did i walk over a car last night?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
