i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
