i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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