Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
