It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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