If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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