We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I just shit out all my problems.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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