I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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