The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
