Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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