We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
