I wish I only lived at night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
