So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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