you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
