that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
