Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
