I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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