he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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