38 yer olds are good kisserssss
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
