Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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