Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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