I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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