New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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