Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
