is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
