you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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