Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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