A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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