You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
