How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
