So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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