Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's shark week go big or go home
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize