Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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