I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize