I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
