I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
