i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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