What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
