So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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