I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
