Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
