Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
