no. you can't hotbox the world.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
