We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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