in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
