Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
did i just pee glitter
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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