How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
