Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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