Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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