when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
