Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
