it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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