I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize