Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
